How Life Would be Better... With a Little Feather.

Welcome back T-Birds! We're so happy to have you join us for another year of edjumacation! And with that new year, you can bet your new Chanel shades that we're going to be here to critque, and commentate your fashion. And creep on men at the gym... and elsewhere. We don't distcrimi-date here at the Fashion Police. We're also not excercists. Which means when we go to the gym we don't usually do anything excercisey there. Unless hyperventaliating at the glass windows counts. In that case we could probably be registered teachers here at the university for excercise science. But for now, we're just going to stick to fashion.
Anyways. We're glad to see you've all landed here at SUU safely.

We just landed, and boy are our arms tired! (Bad dum dum chuu!)

Apparently from your flight you've yet to molt all of your feathers from your hair. Don't worry! You freshmen might molt a little bit slower than everyone else, but you'll catch up soon! We can help you out though! Just give us a second here... we'll pull that out for you...


Oh. Oh dear. You meant to put that there. We are so sorry!

 Now that we realize this is intentional, (Disclaimer: that was a joke. We didn't actually go around trying to pull people's hair extentions out. Well. Only for the first day.(Another disclaimer: JOKE.)) we're here to lay some ground rules on appropriate plumage. Also, the disclaimers are here for those of you who lost your funny bone over the summer.

But we found that Humerus! Hahaha!

We promise we haven't resorted to cheap tricks and gags to keep our posts chock full of hillarity.

CHALK! HAHA!  Okay. We'll stop now. We promise.

Okay. Enough with the fluff! On with the stuff!  Anyways. The rules are pretty simple. In fact there are only two. The first one is: Size does matter.

"Everything everyone told me is a lie!"

We think that feathers are cute. They add a extra dimension and pizzaz to your hairstyle. The problem we've found is that some of you have added a feather that is not only adding dimension, but going into the second dimension. Quick rule of thumb: the feather shouldn't be larger than a pencil width wise,  and should most definitely not be wider than your head. Length wise, it should be about the same length as your hair. If you're outgoing and want to leave it a little longer it's cute but just don't go over board. We don't want anyone flying away... or having a rat tail of a feather. That would be nasty.
Second rule is use feathers in moderation. First of all don't spend a ton of money. Your fake hair should cost less than the costs of your text books. If it doesn't and you have that kind of money around, you should just buy our text books. Just shoot us an email and we'll be happy to provide our information for you...
Also, you look really silly when your hair is outnumber by feathers. But if you feel like you can pull it off, don't blame us when adventurous bird watchers start following you around with binocculars, and try to tag your wings... er... hair... and submit you as a new species they've discovered.
Keep it classy Cedar City. Don't go "Coo- Coo" for all those feathers.

"Don't get your feathers in a ruff!" - Chief Glamzilla
"Apparently bird flu fear has died down..."- Lt. Grunge
"If you find you have too many feathers, you can always donate to... FLOCKS of Love! Haha... okay. Really. I'm done now."- Srgt. McDiscopants

-Don't let us down! Keep your clothes on! We'll decide if you need to take them off or not.-

Chief Glamzilla
Lt. Grunge
Srgt. McDiscopants
Your Cedar City Fashion Police