Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I Can See Clearly Now the Make-up's Gone...

They had been seeing each other for awhile, he was the most handsome man she had ever been with, while she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in the Land of Cedardom. She needed no make up, for her beauty was truly flawless. But one day, disaster struck. Ferdinand went out looking for his precious Elizabeth. He looked high in Eccles C floor 4, and low in the laundry room in Juniper. But Elizabeth was nowhere to be found! He cried many tears and many people laughed at him... and called him "pansy"... But he refused to give up! Then one day he realized... she did not live on campus! So he scootered on over to her house and banged on her door. "Elizabeth!" He cried hoping against hope that she would be there. Instead a new girl with huge fake eyelashes, bright green eyeshadow and deep red lipstck answered the door.
"You are not Elizabeth!" He cried with large tears in his eyes. "Who are you?!"
"Um... Well you can call me Izzy." She replied looking a little confused.
This began Izzy and Ferdinands courtship. While Ferdinand loved Izzy, he could never forget his love, Elizabeth. And when Izzy wasn't there with him, he was dreaming about Elizabeth. (Sometimes even when Izzy was there, he was dreaming about Elizabeth. Which caused some problems in their relationship, as you can imagine.)
One day after Izzy and Ferdinand had been dating for two weeks and were starting to get pretty serious... they went out for a romantic walk, as all walks are meant to be... they looked deeply into each others eye's exactly when the first raindrop fell. (Because this is Cedardom and five minutes before that it had been blizzarding. And five minutes before that is was sunny and warm in the 70s and we're pretty sure yesterday there was a tornado. That is all.) Ferdinand leaned in for a kiss as a torrent of water splashed over them ( because that's how weather works. In Cedardom. And if you don't believe us go outside for five mintues.) Ferdinand opened his eyes and said
"EGAD!"
"You are my precious Elizabeth! How did I not know it was you!?"

Elizabeth aka Izzy looked at him dumbfounded and said "Are you fo' real?! You didn't recognize me? You are so dumb. Fo' real."
Ferdinand was crying happy tears this time... but everbody still called him a pansy,
"I can see your true beauty now that all of this makeup you put on your face has washed away... it must have been hiding your beautiful soul underneath it's evil exterior!"
Elizabeth slapped him across the face and said " Boy... you are so dumb. And you're also a pansy."
And walked away forever.

Aye! Look at this prime specimin of a pansy! I've only seen two before this! What a beaut!
That was a depressing story! However, you can avoid this horrible drama that Ferdinand and Elizabeth went through. This post came about after a lot of requests, as well as our own experience in a class today. Pretty much it went like this:
Everyday there is a particular girl in one of our classes who has huge fake eyelashes, and enough makeup to make a clown jealous. We tolerated this. Simply because we don't really know her and we're not the type to be giving out fashion adivce to random strangers on the street.
Oh.
Wait.
Nevermind.
Anyways, today we walk into this class, and see said makeuped woman... and have three simultaneous heart attacks. She doesn't have any make up on!!!
EGAD!
We were so surpirsed... hence our exclamation of surprise!
It got us to thinking about why anyone would put that much make up on in the first place? She was extremely pretty without make up on, and so are many other women who choose to not put on make up or simply use small amounts. Here's a little tip. Make up is supposed to accentuate your beauty. Not be your beauty. If you look like a totally different person when you put it on, then there is a huge problem.
Luckily... this is how he really looks. So he's using it the right way!


"Even a drag queen couldn't pull off that much make-up..." Lt. Grunge
"OH MY GOSH! YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A FACE! It must have been hiding...."- Srgt. McDiscopants
"Do you think if you pushed your face up against a window it would still be there when you moved away?"- Cheif Glamzilla
-Don't let us down! Keep your clothes on! We'll decide if you need to take them off or not.-

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